It is amazing how simple things often have a great impact on your life.

More than thirty years ago, my HR manager, Roy Evans, told me he had come across a little book that he suggested I should read. The book was called Awareness. It is a verbatim record of lectures Anthony De Mello, a Jesuit priest and spiritual teacher, gave at spiritual retreats he presided over as the Director of the Sadhana Institute of Pastoral Counselling in Poona, India. The collection of lectures was compiled by De Mello’s colleague the Rev. J Francis Stroud who worked with De Mello for eight years.

Although well-loved by those he lectured to, De Mello fell afoul of the Church for his unorthodox teachings. He died suddenly in 1987. He fortunately left a large collection of works including books of traditional fables and parables that he loved and used extensively in his teachings.

I duly acquired a copy of the book and was inspired by the down to earth wisdom and practical philosophy that emanated from De Mello’s teachings.

My own mentor, the good Dr Phil, was similarly impressed and distributed dozens of copies of the work to people in his network. You might also have noticed how my friend Anthony Dillon has occasionally referred to De Mello’s work in his many insightful articles.

Let me give you a taste of De Mello’s philosophy. The book begins with this quote from the spiritual teacher.

Spirituality means waking up. Most people, even though they don’t know it, are asleep. They’re born asleep, they live asleep, they marry in their sleep, they breed children in their sleep, and they die in their sleep without ever waking up. They never understand the loveliness and the beauty of this thing that we call human existence. You know all mystics – Catholic, Christian, non-Christian, no matter what their theology, no matter what their religion – are unanimous on one thing; that all is well. Though everything is a mess, all is well. Strange paradox to be sure! But tragically, most people never get to see that all is well because they are asleep. They are having a nightmare.

The great thing about De Mello’s work is that it is easily accessible to ordinary people. His work is not overly esoteric or replete with difficult psychological concepts. One of his most powerful notions is when dealing with personal suffering to restore the sense of personal agency back to the individual, and by doing so to access personal equanimity.

Here was his suggestion about how to do that.

Put this prescription into action a thousand times.

• Identify the negative feelings in you.
• Understand that they are in you, not in the world.
• Do not see them as an essential part of “I”; these things come and go.
• Understand that when you change, everything changes.

De Mello’s thoughts here were reflected in the writings of Anaïs Nin who observed:

We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.

All this tells us that our sense of personal well-being isn’t determined by the circumstances we confront in the world but how we view and interpret the world. This is a common thread that permeates all the world’s wisdom traditions.

A corollary to this, of course, is that happiness is not conditional. If you believe that happiness (probably more accurately, contentment) comes from how you view the world you will soon see through the fallacy, that many of us believe, that something in our external world must change if we are to be happy.

Many may believe for example that they would be happy if:

• They had an attractive partner
• If they won the lottery
• If their children did well
• If they could lose weight

Or whatever. But this is entirely erroneous. Our sense of wellbeing does not depend so much on the state of our external world but on the state of our internal world – our mind!

In my little book, Augustus Finds Serenity, I wrote a short parable to help people understand the importance of worldviews.

Takygulpa Rinpoche and Augustus walked slowly along the path by the river’s bank. The river was deep and the current swift. The sound of water running over the rapids further downstream carried through the evening air. “I enjoy the river,” said Augustus. “I find it peaceful and enervating.”

“There are many who are afraid of the river,” said his Master. “How do you think it is that some can look at the river and feel fear and others look at it and feel joy?”

Augustus walked on deep in thought but without answering. “Surely the river is the river and would appear to all in the same way?” he finally ventured.

“Suppose,” postulated his Master, “that you had been walking all day and finally tired and thirsty you arrive at the river’s bank. How does it appear to you then?”

“It would be very inviting.”

“On the other hand what say it was cold and wet and walking in the woods you come across a bear? The bear is angry and gives chase. You run as fast as you can but the bear is close behind. Suddenly you come to the river’s bank where the water is wildest and the torrent swiftest. How does the river appear then?”

“It is a frightening obstruction.”

“What has changed?”

“My state of mind.”

“Yes. So you see we can see things differently because of our different states of mind. Fear, in particular, distorts our viewpoint.”

“It is good then that we don’t often get chased by bears.”

“Oh, but we do. Many of us are always being chased by bears – imaginary bears – in our minds. Or, just as fearful, anticipating being chased by bears when there are no bears. We are forever dealing with our interpretation of the world, not the world as it is. This is a major cause of suffering in the world.”

What must we do to restore such order in our minds to achieve “peace of mind”?

Most people spend their entire life imprisoned within the confines of their own thoughts. This ceaseless self-talk in our heads creates our sense of who we are. And unfortunately this constructed sense of self is very vulnerable and must be protected from the constant stream of assaults it has to endure. This sense of self does not reflect who we are, but projects how we might want to be seen. This fragile edifice is what we have come to know as “ego”.

But there is a dimension of our humanity that is far deeper than this. Unfortunately most of us allow the distractions of the world to prevent us from becoming acquainted with this depth. This is why De Mello says we are “asleep” and therefore not aware of this inner depth.

The German spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle put it this way:

In you, as in each human being, there is a dimension of consciousness far deeper than thought. It is the very essence of who you are. We may call it presence, awareness, the unconditional consciousness. In the ancient teachings it is the Christ within, or your Buddha nature.

So what is “awareness”? Well let me give you my interpretation. I wouldn’t presume to speak for De Mello or other spiritual teachers. They are all undoubtedly wiser than I am. But after cogitating on this enigma for fifty years or more, let me share with you my own insights.

Most of us when we react with others have to contend with a myriad of thoughts that flood our minds. Those thoughts distract us from how we relate to others and to the world; inevitably our egos try to dominate our thinking. We wonder, will this person like me? If I say this will I seem foolish? The ego draws our perception to deal with such things at the expense of observing the world objectively.

If we can quieten the voices of ego, put the self aside we are in a much better place to see the world as it is. I am not suggesting this is an easy path.

It is a telling aphorism that when we describe someone who is obviously distracted that we describe them as being “lost in thought”.

As Eckhart Tolle points out:

Wisdom is not a product of thought. The deep knowing that is wisdom arises through the simple act of giving someone or something your full attention.

In this way the perceiver and the perceived are joined and separation is discarded. This to me is the nature of “waking up”. This is the underlying principle of “awareness”.